My Greatest Fear…

My heart collapse of the contemplation that my husband and I will not be around to watch our children grow.  In reality, I don’t have a big family and it kills me to know they wouldn't have much.  Every thought process in my mind presents anxiety.  I want them to be provided with everything I wasn’t able to have or accomplish.    

No will ever treat my children the way I do.  No one will give them the positive push and outlook in life.  No one will wake up in the middle of the night to massage their legs from growing pains.  No one will soothe croup cough by turning on a hot shower and sit with them in their arms for an hour.  No one will take them to their weekly doctor appointments.  No one will hold them tight and tell them that they will love them forever.  No one will read them bedtime stories or at random moments do a craft.  No one will jump on the bed with them and start doing flips.  No one will play hide and seek and chase them all over the house.  No one will play video games.  No one will provide the necessities that I want for them.  No one will treat them equally.  No one will ever say our favorite lines that we say to one another.  NO ONE WILL EVER SHARE THE BOND AND THE LOVE THAT I HAVE FOR THEM.  Unfortunately, it isn’t something that I should be thinking about, but it encounters my mind a few times a year.  Reality hits more after watching a movie like Life as We Know it.  I make myself paranoid.  I just want the best for my boys!!