It took me a long time
to revive after the loss of my son. Can time really heal all wounds? No..my wounds
are not healed. But, I have learned to accept that it is no longer a nightmare
and it is reality. It took me three years to wake up... to finally stop
picturing another child playing next to Isaiah...to stop imagining twins laying
beside one another…to stop blaming doctors and nurses…to stop blaming God…to
stop blaming MYSELF. I still wonder what it would have been like with all
three of my boys…would have I walked in through the front door and hear
"Mami" "Mami" "Mami" and three huge hugs wrapped
around me tightly instead of just hearing and feeling it twice? Would
there be random nights that I end up with three in my bed? Then, I wonder
maybe God knew Luis was going to suffer way more than he can handle.
All I know now is that Luis is our Guardian, our protection, and our
savior. He will forever be in our hearts. Though, my life after
Luis was the most incredible pain I have ever felt in my life, Isaiah and
Josiah make my life worth living. My experience and journey has made me
more appreciative of life ...of living ...of loving ...of enjoying ...of
smiling …of SURVIVING! I survived the loss of a child.
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